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Author: Subject: Highland Pony Book of Evasions
janandjock
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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 05:08 PM


:eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek:

When did that happen? I like the way all the men are smiling casually - as if it is an everyday occurence!




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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 05:18 PM


Lol islander

W is for Welsh cobs - use them to your advantage. By the time your human has finished riding them they will be too hot, bothered, p*ssed off, angry, upset, sore etc to do anything with you. A welshies favourite trick (at least my Danny's) is to pretend they don't know how to go on the bit then once they remember, do everything to pretend they don't know. For example, pretending to be lame, pulling, doing fancy long strides which look nice but are impossible to rise to, galloping off and piaffe - also looks nice but is impossible to do anything to, except :sob:

Lol, they do know how to wind us up, must be a native thing!

S is for spooking - do it as often as you can but not little and often, you have to get your human so worried that they start to spook before you do, leaves blowing across the road look like HUGE rats, white lines are snakes about to devour you whole, gateways are vortexs into another dimension with no food, birds in hedges are really poisonous and will kill, plastic bags are actually small polar bears which will grow and eat you if you do not run past fast enough, the flower or tuft of grass which is taller than all the rest is a scientific instrument for making you never hungry again.

Good job we love them so much! :inlove:

[Edited on 30-11-2006 by Oronsay]




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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 05:22 PM


hi jan,first pony they pulled from a bog,lol!they were very proud of themselves and i think amazed at how calm she was,being manhandled!her photos are up in the tobermory fire station.that was a few years ago in august!our bogs never dry up!
hi oronsay,W must be for Wind up,i totally agree,lol!




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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 05:27 PM


O is for "Oh yes!!!!" you left that foot in front of me and its my duty to play snap with it. It says so in the handbook:sob:



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 06:03 PM


:eeek:
Omigod Islander, that's a very scary couple of photos :eeek:
so, F is for Faint (human), induced by photos above




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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 08:01 PM


hi kate,a couple of years ago now,we had crossed that way for years with no mishap,but when she jumped she didnt jump far enough and her back end went in,because it was uphill in front of her,she couldnt get purchase to get out.picture a circus elephant sitting on its haunches!managed to delve in the muck and undo her girth and chuck her saddle aside.OH went for help while amber ate the grass she could reach very calmly and camrie was happy grazing till the firemen trekked out into the forest!camrie got a fright when he saw the firemen and ran off,back to the field thank goodness,but all i could think of after we got amber out,hope he didnt have a roll on his good saddle!OH has never ridden since that day,he was on amber!



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 08:40 PM


islander that's brilliant! Ghillie says S is for Stealing- steal food from other horses at every opportunity. Even out of their mouths is acceptable.



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 08:56 PM


Ok, then, how about J for jump? As in, what is that strange construction made from stripey poles? Oh yes, I remember - it's a JUMP! Only a few inches off the floor but best clear it by a couple of feet just in case. (Always a good laugh to unseat Mum on top who doesn't like jumping anyway!)
Must point out this enthusiastic over jumping only lasts as long as it takes him to realise he can trot over it instead.
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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 09:34 PM


Reckon we should make a determined effort to get ever letter covered and then illustrated(who can draw - or we could use photos) - then publish this for ILPH funds.

What letters are left?





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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 09:36 PM


Brilliant idea MM!!! Maybe Flea's brother would do the printing for us?:hail:



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 09:44 PM


Hang on am putting a list together... just taking all the bits out the post.





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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 09:59 PM


Because I'm a geek here's everything in the post in one list, and blanks to fill in...


A A is for amble… around any show ring…
B B is for Barge… Your human out the way of the food…
C C is for contempt - of the whole human race who are simply your servants and should be treated with utmost contempt, contempt for the rest of your herd who aren't brave enough to stand up to you and for contempt of electric fences which are intended to stop you from reaching something yummy - just walk through them or jump over them, but whatever else - treat them with CONTEMPT!!!
D D is for dragging owner through mud faster than owners legs can go. D for disobeying any command what so ever as busy doing E - eating............
E E is for eat… If all else fails eat. Eat grass, eat your human, eat your tack, your bed, the stable, the lorry, eat the bucket as well as the food, any other avalible humans, and most importantly anything you were specifically told not to eat...
F F is for FORGET IT! Keep clean Forget it! Go fast downhill, Forget it! Let you walk up the field to a dry bit with my full feed bucket, Forget it! Do a dressage test, Forget it!
G G is for galloping. It's the shortest chapter in the book. This is because not many HiPo's are sure what it is...
H H is for Hairy...
I
J J for jump? As in, what is that strange construction made from stripey poles? Oh yes, I remember - it's a JUMP! Only a few inches off the floor but best clear it by a couple of feet just in case. (Always a good laugh to unseat Mum on top who doesn't like jumping anyway!)
Must point out this enthusiastic over jumping only lasts as long as it takes him to realise he can trot over it instead.
K
L L is for Lazy... Who said HiPo's were lazy...?
M M is for Mud. Mud Mud and more Mud. How to apply it to enhance facial features and mane
N
O O is for "Oh yes!!!!" you left that foot in front of me and its my duty to play snap with it.
P
Q
R
S S is for spooking - do it as often as you can but not little and often, you have to get your human so worried that they start to spook before you do… S is for Sinking into the boggy bits…
T T is for Thrawn.This is a Scottish word which means unbelievably stubborn, with added flavours and hints of wilful, opinionated, cut-off-nose-to-spite-face, bossy, perverse (in a 'I don't care if it's actually nice, it's not what I want' sort of a way).
U U is for unperturbed,i'll just eat grass till you run and get the firemen to pull me out…
V V is for Victory over gullible humans,see how many you can have pandering after you at the one time!
W W is for Walking… Walk everywhere… You’ll only get tired going any faster…
X
Y
Z Z is for zzzZZZzzz...

:welovehipos:

[Edited on 30-11-2006 by HighlandRosie]






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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:05 PM


H is for HAIRY - what else! or permanently HUNGRY

[Edited on 30-11-2006 by janandjock]




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HighlandRosie
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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:10 PM


I've added it in. Will fill in the blanks as people post them... :D





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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:27 PM


I think Angus wrote the book:heh hee: great replies :heh hee:
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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:32 PM


I is for intelligence to be hidden from humans at all times



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:32 PM


THESE ARE BRILL!!!! Sooooooo Accurat. Got all highlands down to a T! T for Torn bag of shavings! As i got hungry waiting for you. ( Forries new trick for getting you to hurry up! he he ) We love them though!!:inlove::welovehipos:: heh hee: Read every one they all made me laugh!
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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:34 PM


K is for knocking over the poo picking barrow as we like to keep our humans happily employed



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:36 PM


P is for pretend to pee and you can snatch a bit of grass and stand still for 5minutes



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 10:43 PM


I is for itchy nose/leg which isn't really itchy, you just wanted some grass.

I would quite like to have a go at a few cartoon drawings but the ponies would all be the same shape etc, maybe we should get a few people to do a few letters? That way there would be more contribution from more people and more variety within it. Anyone else want to draw some?




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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 11:01 PM


What about F for fall over.
Holly managed to fall over walking along the flattest piece of road we have which ended up with me on the tarmac!!
Both un hurt though




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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 11:57 PM


I'll draw some! Used to do these for the kids at the stables and haven't for years. Let me know which ones you don't want and I'll give it a go!



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[*] posted on 1-12-2006 at 12:02 AM


P is for pretend you are starving and haven't been fed for days when Mummy's friends come to see you.
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[*] posted on 1-12-2006 at 09:55 AM


These are brilliant - well done - I can see all my ponies in here somewhere!!

R is for "Rush Off" - it can cover all sorts of occasions - through the gate when mum has two of us at a time - off the lorry at a show - through the door with your saddle on catching the front edge on the door frame! that sort of thing!!:heh hee::heh hee:

[Edited on 1-12-2006 by Kingsmoor]




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[*] posted on 1-12-2006 at 10:25 AM


A A is for amble… around any show ring…
B B is for Barge… Your human out the way of the food…
C C is for contempt - of the whole human race who are simply your servants and should be treated with utmost contempt, contempt for the rest of your herd who aren't brave enough to stand up to you and for contempt of electric fences which are intended to stop you from reaching something yummy - just walk through them or jump over them, but whatever else - treat them with CONTEMPT!!!
D D is for dragging owner through mud faster than owners legs can go. D for disobeying any command what so ever as busy doing E - eating............
E E is for eat… If all else fails eat. Eat grass, eat your human, eat your tack, your bed, the stable, the lorry, eat the bucket as well as the food, any other avalible humans, and most importantly anything you were specifically told not to eat...
F F is for FORGET IT! Keep clean Forget it! Go fast downhill, Forget it! Let you walk up the field to a dry bit with my full feed bucket, Forget it! Do a dressage test, Forget it!
G G is for galloping. It's the shortest chapter in the book. This is because not many HiPo's are sure what it is...
H H is for Hairy...
I I is for intelligence to be hidden from humans at all times
J J for jump? As in, what is that strange construction made from stripey poles? Oh yes, I remember - it's a JUMP! Only a few inches off the floor but best clear it by a couple of feet just in case. (Always a good laugh to unseat Mum on top who doesn't like jumping anyway!)
Must point out this enthusiastic over jumping only lasts as long as it takes him to realise he can trot over it instead.
K K is for knocking over the poo picking barrow as we like to keep our humans happily employed...
L L is for Lazy... Who said HiPo's were lazy...?
M M is for Mud. Mud Mud and more Mud. How to apply it to enhance facial features and mane
N N is for No. No I can't, I won't, I'm just not doing it...
O O is for "Oh yes!!!!" you left that foot in front of me and its my duty to play snap with it.
P P is for pretend to pee and you can snatch a bit of grass and stand still for 5minutes, or that you are starving and haven't been fed for days when Mummy's friends come to see you
Q Q is for Queen (applies mainly to mares) Beauty Queen, Queen of the field, Queen of the stables... but usually Queen of the mud...
R R is for "Rush Off" - it can cover all sorts of occasions - through the gate when mum has two of us at a time - off the lorry at a show - through the door with your saddle on catching the front edge on the door frame! that sort of thing
S S is for spooking - do it as often as you can but not little and often, you have to get your human so worried that they start to spook before you do… S is for Sinking into the boggy bits…
T T is for Thrawn.This is a Scottish word which means unbelievably stubborn, with added flavours and hints of wilful, opinionated, cut-off-nose-to-spite-face, bossy, perverse (in a 'I don't care if it's actually nice, it's not what I want' sort of a way).
U U is for unperturbed, i'll just eat grass till you run and get the firemen to pull me out…
V V is for Victory over gullible humans,see how many you can have pandering after you at the one time!
W W is for Walking… Walk everywhere… You’ll only get tired going any faster…
X X is for Xtreme evasions - in case of real emergency you may spook (this involves moving quickly so take care) or canter away from the danger. Remember to use this only in emergency - most HiPos never use this at all in their whole lives
Y Y is for Yawn... After reading all that it's hard work being a HiPo...
Z Z is for zzzZZZzzz...

That's the list full up. If I've missed a sudgestion out it's becuase someone had already filled that letter before them, so thought taking the first sudgestion was only fair. I'll go through it, and reword some bits, so it all makes sense if that's okay? Then repost it later today?






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