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Author: Subject: Highland Pony Book of Evasions
Julie
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[*] posted on 28-11-2006 at 11:55 PM
Highland Pony Book of Evasions


Every highland pony is born with a copy of this book. Some of them learn to read it quicker than others, but eventually they all get around to it. This book tells a pony in what order to do its evasions and is obviously labelled A - Z. Ponies start at A and work through them, usually in order unless dyslexic. When they get to D E F they may go back to A B C again to check we have got the idea, but then carry on again regardless, in order. Sometimes they lose their book and become paragons of virtue, rest assured when they live with another highland, they will immediately borrow their copy and go back to the last page they were on. Eventually they get to Z and after a few recaps we think they are schooled. Thats when they order the new version with numerous appendices from Amazon. So beware when the postman comes to the yard!!:doh:

[Edited on 28-11-2006 by Julie]





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marsha
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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 12:13 AM


Brilliant
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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 07:28 AM


And don't forget that they're downloaded all the latest information on their furry little mobile phones that they keep stashed away in their shelters or stables. Or...... are they all linked telepathically......? Spooky!
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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 08:00 AM


:heh hee: :welovehipos: though don't we!



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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 12:32 PM


Love it Julie. Ruari has Z down pat - "ZZZZZzzzzzzz .... I'm actually asleep you know!"

:P




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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 12:49 PM


I've heard about this. The biggest chapter is E for EAT. If all else fails eat. Eat grass, eat your human, eat your tack, your bed, the stable, the lorry, eat the bucket as well as the food, any other avalible humans, and most importantly anything you were specifically told not to eat...

:fat:

[Edited on 29-11-2006 by HighlandRosie]






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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 01:13 PM


had to take the mobile phones from my highlands they kept having pizza delivery. My old gelding Ruaraidh had a hand in writing the original book. His favourite chapter is "stable stains, and how to find out if i'm going to a show tomorrow" and also "how too use your sad eyes to get more hay"
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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 02:10 PM


:wavey: EXCELLENT PEOPLE, AND SO RIGHT
:heh hee::heh
hee::heh hee::hug:




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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 03:55 PM


Rurie deinitely had a hand in the M section

MUD: how to apply it to enhance facial features and mane




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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 07:28 PM


That is why Sasie is like she is - being young she is on:

A - amble around any show ring
B - barge your human out of the way of food

I onder what C she will think of??:banghead:





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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 07:33 PM


Ishie is stuck at C!! C is for contempt - of the whole human race who are simply your servants and should be treated with utmost contempt, contempt for the rest of your herd who aren't brave enough to stand up to you and for contempt of electric fences which are intended to stop you from reaching something yummy - just walk through them or jump over them, but whatever else - treat them with CONTEMPT!!!



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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 08:18 PM


D - for dragging owner through mud faster than owners legs can go. D for disobeying any command what so ever as busy doing E - eating.................




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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 08:27 PM


C is for Come on, you must be joking! and Can't. Won't. Can you make me? Thought so.....
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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 08:44 PM


thanks for the giggles everyone, made my day.:clap:
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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 09:15 PM


F is for FORGET IT! Keep clean Forget it! Go fast downhill, Forget it! Let you walk up the field to a dry bit with my full feed bucket, Forget it! Do a dressage test, Forget it!

Edited to say that Rurie has difinitely been sharing this book with Sam but also suspect that Sam has added bits from his own instruction manual. His number one instruction is "IF IN DOUBT, DON'T"

Someone should write this in human speak, has anyone managed to get a glimpse of the whole book?


[Edited on 29-11-2006 by Kate and Rurie]




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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 09:35 PM


Keep going people. I want to hear what ideas you have for X.



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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 09:43 PM


X, is probably for some x-rated expletives when beloved pony stands on ones foot.
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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 09:51 PM


X - Spot in a dressage arena where you NEVER stand still or straight!

X - Xtreme evasions - in case of real emergency you may spook (this involves moving quickly so take care) or canter away from the danger. Remember to use this only in emergency - most HiPos never use this at all in their whole lives.





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[*] posted on 29-11-2006 at 11:16 PM


:heh hee: I think that between us all we could crack the whole alphabet. P is for PLANTING! - hope I won't ever have to put up with this!



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 06:25 AM


very good :clap:



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 08:14 AM


G is for galloping. It's the shortest chapter in the book. This is because not many HiPo's are sure what it is...





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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 09:00 AM


I think gamble read it backwards. She started at zzzzzz and has never been awake since.:whistle:



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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 11:22 AM


:thumbs: Ah, this must be the book that Pagan wrote - funnily enough, we're now onto the sequel! :mad:

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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 01:25 PM


Elphie wrote the section on 'T for thrawn'. This is a Scottish word which means unbelievably stubborn, with added flavours and hints of wilful, opinionated, cut-off-nose-to-spite-face, bossy, perverse (in a 'I don't care if it's actually nice, it's not what I want' sort of a way). It's what makes you do this :banghead:
and this :crash:
and this :thud:
and sometimes this :sob:
There is also an underlying undercurrent of 'and don't even contemplate messing with me because I'm 600kgs of thrawn. And you're still paying for trying to put me on a diet 2 years ago....'
I do love, her too, honest! :inlove:




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[*] posted on 30-11-2006 at 04:51 PM


S is for sinking in a boggy bit that all the other younger ponies walked over without problems(they havent got to S yet)
T is for told you it was too wet and boggy there for me to cross
U is for unperturbed,i'll just eat grass till you run and get the firemen to pull me out!
V is for Victory over gullible humans,see how many you can have pandering after you at the one time!



[Edited on 30-11-2006 by islander]

[Edited on 30-11-2006 by islander]




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